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A new idea for an unbelievable summer vacation for AUBG-ers: the University of Cambridge is organizing a summer of Medieval Studies. “We believe the best way to learn is through hands-on experience,” said the program director Sir Edmund Black Adder the Third. “Through our summer school, students will have the opportunity to experience the joys of a Middle Age lifestyle.” The program will begin with students moving to an isolated county somewhere in North-West England. Each person will take on a role and will be discriminated on an equal basis. Those with freakishly large noses, ears and other signs of inbreeding will act as nobility ruling the land. (Any resemblance to BUS majors is not in any way coincidental.) The rest will become peasants. Just like the other majors, they will work endless hours for almost no pay. “While the Work & Travel program introduces students only to slavery, our medieval school will show them all aspects of the Middle Ages!” Sir Edmund said. Participants will be taught the essentials of medieval life through a variety of courses like Crop Raising 101, Basics of Superstition, Blacksmithing 302, Sword fighting 202, Fundamentals of Gallows Construction, Black Plague 241 and others. There will also be a Jousting tournament for the sportspeople. The loser will be publicly beheaded and his head will be impaled on a spike and displayed in the city. The winner will be officially knighted and sent to rescue the princess from the fire-breathing dragon. For now, however, no knights returned, the only survivor is the brave horse Flaky, who got away with a scorched tail. Once enrolled, however, participants will not be able to withdraw from the school. All participants will have to accept Christianity and the Holy Church as the defining features of their life. “Infidels and blasphemers who renounce the name of Christ will be burned at the stake!” said Sir Edmund. Dormitories will range form castles, through peasant huts to the gutter. “We strive to provide a variety of conditions but we doubt any AUBG student will find a great difference from the conditions in Skapto. ”All participants will be forbidden from showering in order to feel the Middle Age spirit. The program will end with a holy crusade to find the Grail but most of the surviving participants will end up back in the barbaric lands of AUBG.
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